Paint Me Down

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Paint Me Down by Spandau Ballet, one of the strangest videos for the strangest songs I have ever seen or heard.

These silhouetted figures are the band members as far as I can make out.  They are rubbing paint on themselves and each other.  The dudes in the middle seem really into it.  That’s nice.  I’m just pointing it out is all.  Let’s tackle the lyrics.

Why no grammar? 

I have absolutely no idea what this opening verse means.  I got nothing.  There are some nouns and verbs associated with art.  That’s all I can confidently say.

Consider what I mean?  Sure – you mean oil paints and a canvas but you’re getting all sexual on it.  Ohhhhhh… I just got it.  He’s imagining that he’s a (horny) canvas and she’s a painter and she’s going to “paint” him.  In this metaphor the white bed would be the canvas…

on which he…

The next shot is a bit harder to explain.  Just like how this guy finds it hard to explain this shot to his kids now that they’re at school.

Anywho, back to the lyrics.

No, you’ve lost me again.  Sorry, “he’ll take out his pain”?  Where has this man come from?  Is she a serial painter?

He’s soaking up the surface?  I thought he was the surface.  Who’s getting oiled up?  Paint me in the home must be a metaphor for something.  Crikey, too many brushes, and oil, and too much skin.  Something’s going to crack.

Maybe the ceiling?

Maybe the ceiling below that big paint mixing factory upstairs…

Bummer.

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8 thoughts on “Paint Me Down

  1. I’m thankful for your narration as I first thought the ceiling crack was an enormous dangling spider leg. All of this makes me want to go back to my innocent paint-by-numbers.

  2. Wow. Where do you find these things??? Weren’t two of the band members brothers? The Kemps? Doesn’t that extra bit of knowledge weird you out just a little more?

    I don’t remember this song, which is probably just as well, because I’d probably be going through some paint-aversion therapy right now.

    Is this why they removed the lead from paint?? Hmmmm…

  3. Reminds me of Spike Milligan’s WW2 memoirs. He said that in the Forces canteen and at shows the Brits used to sing a bizarre soing “I painted ‘er, I painted ‘er, up her back and along her crack, I painted ‘er, I painted ‘er, I painted me ol’ tomater”

    The Candaians and Americans didn’t have a clue what they were singing about.

  4. I was considering putting a warning at the top of this post, but then I couldn’t think what that warning actually would be. Contains Laughable Lyrics? Contains Paint as a Metphor for Other Things?

  5. It is clearer in the video. The picture is clearer I mean, obviously the meaning is beyond all human comprehension.

  6. Correct. Brothers.

    I was looking at a Smash Hits magazine that listed the worst videos of 1981 and this was one of their top picks.

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