Eleanor goes to the shop and reviews the Three Musketeers

 

Sunday

I spent the morning asking Daddy if I could go to the shop to buy some lollies with the money from my piggy bank.  He said no at breakfast, but I knew that if I kept asking until lunchtime he would say yes.  After breakfast Daddy took me to the video shop to get some DVDs out.  We always get three because they have a special deal where you get three.  Sometimes I let Daddy get one.  Sometimes Daddy tries to get two for him, but I just have to roll around on the ground for a while screaming “it’s not fair” and he usually agrees to get two for me.

I don’t know why he wants to see the movies he gets out anyway.  His movies are usually about men and women talking.  Sometimes they say things that are funny but mostly they seem to be upset, and cry, and hug each other, and then roll around in bed for a bit, then they get upset again.  I think he would enjoy my movies more.

Three Musketeers is an excellent movie.  I have made Daddy watch it three times now.  It is excellent because Barbie and her three friends do excellent adventure things and there are almost no boys in it, and the boys who are in it are bad or stupid.  I think this is correct from my experience at school so far, although most movies pretend that boys are good and heroes.  Girls are better heroes because they do action things, but also look really pretty and have nice hair.

I thought that Daddy understood this but then he got me a book out of the library about the Three Musketeers and all the characters in it were boys.  Barbie wasn’t even in it and she’s the main character.  I refused to let Daddy read it to me even when he got cross with me, I even refused when he begged.  I think he felt a bit glum, so I showed him some of my Three Musketeer (girl version) moves.  Three Musketeer walking, and Three Musketeer brushing teeth, and Three Musketeer eating dinner.  It’s hard to do these things while spinning around with your sword and taking off your hat and saying “all for one and one for all”.  Daddy shouted at me when I tried to say “one for all” and sprayed my toothpaste across the bathroom floor, and tripped on my cape and almost fell in the toilet.

After lunch Daddy agreed to take me and Rosamund to the shop to get some lollies.  It doesn’t take long to walk to the shops.  Except that we had to stop and pat all the cats on the way.  Rosamund got lost behind a hedge and then got confused about being my sister and thought she was a cat for a while.  Daddy kept saying “don’t touch them they’re dirty” which might be true because I’ve seen a cat licking its bottom once and they might all do it, or it might have just been that cat.

When we got to the lolly shop there was a pile of lollies in bags and I had to choose which one I wanted, and then I had to pay the lady behind the counter, and then I had to run outside open the bag and pick which lolly to eat first.  I chose a pink mushroom.  A man came up to Daddy and tried to sell him a broken portable TV set.  I thought this would be quite useful, and told Daddy to buy it, but Daddy just glared at me, and said no thank you to the man.  The man looked quite sad.

On the way home I ate a worm and a bug out of the bag.  It’s been a good day so far.  I think Daddy and I will watch the Three Musketeers again when we get home, and I’ll try to explain about the girl thing one more time.

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13 thoughts on “Eleanor goes to the shop and reviews the Three Musketeers

  1. I hadn’t heard of this movie, and I was hoping you made it up. So naturally I Googled. How can that hated doll be a musketeer? They were one for all and all for one — Barbie is only in it for herself. Besides, musketeers used their stilettos in an altogether different manner. I am crushed.

  2. Eleanor, I’m sorry your dad has got the three musketeer story so mixed up. Make him watch the dvd as much as you can but remember… he is an old dog and this is a new trick. Better maybe to educate Rosamund.

  3. I admit it, Eleanor. I had to google that movie, too, since I’d never heard of it. How is that? How is it that my 4 1/2 year old daughter has not yet forced this movie upon me? I’m still recovering from the fact that Disney’s Cinderella now has two unauthorized sequels.

    (Seriously, can your daughters be any cuter?)

  4. Eleanor, it sounds like you had a most excellent adventure. It’s a pity your Dad is so bogus but I can tell you’re a bodacious babe. Party on!

    (You did rent Barbie’s Excellent Adventure, right? You said they had an excellent adventure…)

  5. I’ll pass on your message.

    You’ll be pleased to know that I ran in the staff relay on Monday and didn’t damage anything (except my pride, but that’s to be expected).

  6. I’m sure you are being tortured with another movie. My personal “favourite” is My Little Ponys. I can almost sing all the words to the theme tune now.

  7. Barbie’s Excellent Adventure? Oh lord. I used to love Bill and Ted when I was at school. I feel I may not have the same response to Barbie’s version.

  8. We are clearly on the road to extinction. At least those of us who read books, anyway. Yuck. Barbie as a musketeer. I may not recover. I may not want to recover.

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