Tag

I was “tagged” in my last piece by Speaker7. Man of Errors had to explain what this meant to me for quite a long time.  Frankly I still don’t really understand what has happened, but I sensed that Errors was getting frustrated so I dropped the matter.

This game has rules:

1. You must post the rules.
2. Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post and then create eleven new questions to ask the people you’ve tagged.
3. Tag eleven people and link to them on your post.
4. Let them know you’ve tagged them!

It seems that I have to answer a set of questions.  I will do my best.

1.) Which member of the Backstreet Boys are you most like?

Upon reviewing the literature on this subject I have to say I am in no way like any of these gentlemen.  They appear to be fascinated by themselves and vain.  I asked Mr. Errors to assist me, but he started in on a long speech about musical groups consisting of boys being “complete rubbish” which was quite tiresome so I’m afraid I can’t answer this question.

2.) What did Bruce Jenner do to his face?

I don’t know. 

3.) Please explain what a Kim Kardashian is and why anyone would know what a Kim Kardashian is?

She appears to be some kind of mechanism for generating news about things that aren’t important.  If you had asked me at the beginning of the year I would have said that she was a woman of ill-repute, or a lady who had fallen on hard times and was forced to walk the streets at night to earn money, but Mr. Errors tells me that she dresses as she does through choice, and that it is to do with freedom, which doesn’t explain why men don’t dress in a similar way, but whenever I bring this up Errors pretends he doesn’t understand the question.

4.) How doomed are we?

I am beginning to suspect that the British Empire has lost quite a lot of power since I died in 1929, and that America may have gained some.  If it is the case that America is the dominant power in the world then I believe we totally and utterly doomed.  They can’t even spell properly in that country of rebels and ingrates, so how could you expect them to run the world?

5.) Is Ryan Seacrest a robot or is he something less artificial?

Presumably a robot.  I suppose this is a question designed to trick an old-timer like me, but I’m becoming more familiar with the truly incredible technology that abounds now. Based on the slightly artificial look of the face, and the slightly deadened nature of the meaningless chitter chatter, I assume that a Ryan Seacrest is a type of robot.

6.) Why isn’t Rush Limbaugh kicked in the nuts daily?

I’m not sure what “nuts” can mean in this context.  His website appears to be some kind of place where you can buy clothes, mostly ridiculous caps and the horrible and ubiquitous T-shirt.  Most of the other things on his site are for members only.  Perhaps he runs some kind of gentlemen’s club where people wear T-shirts and caps and smoke cigars?  He doesn’t appear to like coloured people or women so I assume this is what he does.

7.) Which religion is correct?

Christianity.  Anglican to be precise.

8.) Can you think of someone who is worse than the current slate of Republican presidential candidates?

Joseph Kony, Tony Blair, Okot Odhiambo, George Bush, Dominic Ongwen… Mr Errors gave me a long list.  I don’t know who these people are but I assume that he is joking with me and these are all members of a boy band of some kind that he dislikes. 

9.) Why do people enjoy the book Twilight?

I’m not sure.  Bram Stoker’s book is much better.

10.) What’s up?

I continue to struggle to understand the modern world.  Mr. Errors laughed so hard he cried when he read these headlines, but I only understood about four of them.  I can only assume, based on what I know about Mr. Errors’ sense of humour, that these headlines are all euphemisms for other things, presumably related to one’s posterior.

11.) How many Academy Awards will Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance win?

I’m afraid that I could only watch ten seconds of the trailer before I had to go outside and have a cigarette and brandy to steady my nerves.  Good Lord, people actually view this as entertainment in 2012?

Now I have to link to eleven people and ask eleven questions.  I can’t link to eleven people because I only know Mr Errors and his family and I feel it would be impertinent to tag someone without a formal introduction.  Perhaps if you read this and you would like to answer the questions you could do so in the comments below. 

My questions.

1. I found Mr. Errors watching this on his computer one day.  Should I call the police?

He assured me that the young lady involved – Rihanna – is a hugely popular musician especially with girls, and that this video was freely available.  In which case,

2. Is western society on the brink of collapse?

3. What is the war on terror?  From the evidence it appears to be some kind of war against people with beards.

4. Why are there so many pictures of cats on the internet?

5. Is this common? Is $35 a good price? Why?

6. Has Japan changed or have I?

7. If this is correct, why?

8. Is this magic?

9. What is Twitter and what is a Tweet?

10. Is this what the democratic, humane  justice that Mr. Errors keeps talking about looks like?

11. What is a Belieber?

8 thoughts on “Tag

  1. Hi, thanks for popping over. While you were popping over I added more because I realised I had missed some of the rules.

  2. 1. Yes. Tell them hi from me.
    2. Yes. And I’ll sure miss Pop-Tarts and Ryan Seacrest.
    3. The (American) Amish are so belligerent and evil. They make bearded terrorists look like Persian kittens.
    4. They photograph much better than the Amish.
    5. Looks like the old fanny packs but with a more convenient place to store a hair brush.
    6. I blacked out while watching that. When I awoke, I was covered in flan.
    7. I blacked out while watching that. When I awoke, I had an urge to play Tetris and start saving my pennies.
    8. I blacked out while watching that. When I awoke, I had an urge to watch Bill Cosby’s old show Picture Pages.
    9. Who gives a tweet. Beats the heck out of me.
    10. If I blur my eyes just right, am I supposed to see Satan in this?
    11. Some kind of DNA hybrid of a teen pop singer who looks like someone went doo-doo on his head?

  3. Undecimus,
    Your answers were brilliant. I will try to do your questions justice.

    1&2) Yes
    3) War of Terror was invented by Duck brand duct tape
    4) see question 2
    5) Not a bad price. I find it troubling that while its purpose is to hold the “family jewels,” it can also be worn over the shoulder.
    6) Japan has changed. More flan.
    7) see question 2
    8) Magic is performed solely by Criss Angel’s eyeliner
    9) They are a more polite way to refer to a moron and a moron’s blather
    10) In the US, it’s more about fire hoses, pepper spray and “free speech” zones in jailed off pens.
    11) Someone who posts cat pictures on the Internet.

  4. You have made some things clearer, and some less for Undecimus. He keeps asking for the phone number of the police, other than that he seems fine.

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