V.A.M.U.C

As the proud former president of the Viennese Anti Midge Ure Collective it gave me great pleasure to read some of the comments in Man of Errors’ previous post.  The ignorance of two of the commentators about Midge Ure and his work shows that VAMUC had considerable success in stopping the spread of this man’s work in the 1980s when he was the leader of the infamous band Ultravox.

Perhaps a little background first.

When Vienna first came out we here in Austria were quite pleased that such a wonderful, slice of synth pop named our capital city in its chorus.  And then we saw the video and we realised what was being implied.  We were outraged and appalled.  As we watched it go to number one in Belgium, and Ireland, all we could hear was the laughter of our European cousins at our expense.  I decided to take action.  I called a meeting at my Volksschule and quickly had three or four members.  Our goal was to stop the spread of this song and its insidious video around the world.

In case you are confused I will briefly explain our initial problem with the video.  In short, it is a video that implies that Viennese people like to have sex with horses.

The video begins with the guilty couple separating on the streets of Vienna after their torid roll in the hay.

As the horse canters off screen (I presume he is called Vienna) he gives us the knowing , leering look of the Casanova.

Moments later the tawdry scene is completed when the horse’s pimp takes money from the woman.

Later at a party of taxidermists

Amid the sophisticated chatter of being stuffed and mounted,

The woman’s husband is informed of his wife’s “indiscretion”

The woman realises her shame has been revealed

And takes the only course open to her: brutally murdering the horse pimp.

Almost equally as offensive as all this was Midge Ure’s mustache.

Understandably we in Vienna were disgusted by this representation of our society.  Although the shame had already spread throughout Europe, we were determined the song would remain unknown in North America.  One phone call to Tipper Gore insured success, and Vienna barely managed to chart in the top 200 in the USA.

Since this triumphant success VUMAC has gone on to stage many successful campaigns against ambiguity-in-pop-songs-leading-to-distasteful-sexual-images.  Of course once we branched out we did have to change our name from VUMAC to VAAIPSLTDSI which is a bit of a mouthful but can also be said as fuktig in Swedish apparently.  Our PROUD TO BE FUKTIG badges are hot sellers I can tell you, and our headquarters at my family farm Pferd-lieben is a hive of anti-ambiguity activity.  If Mr Errors permits I may tell you about some of these campaigns in the future.

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